short men lololol

as hard as elle woods tried to convince me that the endorphins from aerobics will someday help to prove me innocent when my rich, old husband turns up dead, i am adamantaly unathletic. i hold ap sports on a pedestal alongside ap missing eyebrows, but no higher.

& yet, despite this, i find myself spending two weeks glued to channel four every two years, unwilling to miss even a moment of the action that is the olympic games. i do watching snowboarders put on display that each of them has a death wish & watching skiiers' thighs fall off as they hike uphill, but the ice skating is where my heart lies (as admittedly unsurprising as this may be). this year, though, the costumes have been more than i even i can handle (in some cases). to honour their creators for ap sparkle usage, i am dedicating this post to the men's short program. perhaps similar posts will follow.

i can only find adequate free-standing photos of the american skaters, for now. i can only provide the link to a slideshow of freezeframes courtesy of NBC, most of which take away from the costumes because of the ABSURD faces the skaters were caught making & positions in which they were caught. view said slideshow here. i have listed my comments in an order that corresponds with the slideshow.

stephane lambiel: my Renaissance hero
samuel contesti: the most lovable italian hillbilly if i've ever seen one, wearing flannel (why is allison the most mentioned person on this blog)& fitted overalls with extraordinarily underscored talent, too
johnny weir: takes the cake with his tassle & his sass


evan lysacek: feathers didn't make sense until dick button said he was dancing to firebird.. despite the fact he was amazing, his hair looked disgusting. a bad version of ulysses' hair in "o brother where art thou"


thomas verner: if the rope around his waist had been brown instead of white, this sailor boy could've stolen my heart even more ♥♥♥